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EnigmA Amiga Run 1995 November
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EnigmA AMIGA RUN 02 (1995)(G.R. Edizioni)(IT)[!][issue 1995-11][Skylink CD].iso
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sysopsto.lha
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SysOpsStory.txt
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1995-09-22
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1,152 lines
SysOp's Story
* by The BenchMaster *
So, you want to be a SysOp, do you?
Yes, just think of the glamour and prestige of owning and operating a
modern-day computer bulletin board service. Just think of what an idol
you'll be to countless new users out there. Think of how incredibly hip
and cool it will be to be on the "inside". And think of all the terrific
files you'll be able to see before anybody else!
Yes, just think of all that.
And then...think again.
Think of the thousands of dollars you'll eventually sink into the BBS.
Think of the countless hours you'll spend hassling with new uploads, trying
to figure out why half of them won't run, logging them onto the board,
finding old versions to delete, moving errant files, looking for files with
forgotten names, etc, etc, etc. Then think of the endless hours you'll spend
in the message base, answering countless dumb questions from beginners,
trying to be smart and answering questions from the regular gang, dealing
with nagging, pesky members who just won't be satisfied until <fill in blank>
is fixed, altered, moved, repaired, added or deleted!
Yes, just think of what a nightmare it will be, always worried that some-
thing may not be right with the menus, that some member may suddenly not have
access to something he should or SHOULDN'T have, that someone will publicly
call attention to something really dumb you did. Spelling, grammar, punctua-
tion: it all "counts" now. There'll be pressure to put on new files. What
if no one's uploaded anything for days and days? You just gonna MAKE stuff
up? You gonna download garbage from other boards, simply to satisfy the
hungry mob? The pressure, man! It's Friday Night, the big weekend's coming
up, these people are going to expect some FUN shit in that New Files bin!
Perhaps I'd better ask again:
So, you want to be a SysOp, do you?
You'd better make sure you do. Maybe this file will help.
*
Yes, there are drawbacks, but all in all, it's wonderful. Dollar for
entertainment dollar, I consider my BBS computer an *excellent* value. The
laughs and yucks it has provided, the astounding things I've seen people do
and say, the terrific files I otherwise never would have seen, the depth and
poignancy of certain moments, the splendor of others...it's all just been a
marvelous experience. Hah! Had ya fooled, with all that bad talk up above.
It's been worth every little penny and every little minute I've put into it.
Rather than list out all the good points and bad, I think I'll just tell
the story and let you decide. Since a BBS is such an all-encompassing event,
the gray area between "good" and "bad" is immense, and, like life, you'll
get out of it what you put into it. If you lavish it with love, care and
devotion, your members will sense this, and your message base and uploads bin
will prosper. And certainly the opposite is true.
First off, if it's not crystal clear already, let me say it now: You WANT
to devote a computer, modem and hard drive exclusively to the BBS. If you
have an 030/040 and a hi-speed modem, then yes, you can get away with a bit
of multitasking here and there, but if someone's downloading, and you
suddenly decide to do some semi-CPU-intensive thing, and his cps rate drops
dramatically, expect your Page SysOp bell to be ringing momentarily.
There's also this sobering thought: What happens if someone is uploading
something while you're goofing around, and you crash the machine right in the
middle of a write? If you've got all of your files in one partition, you
might have just cost yourself the whole shebang.
Oh, speaking of partitioning, yes, by all means, split things into ten or
so partitions, just in case. Then, if your AUDIO: partition suddenly goes
belly-up and you lose all 400 of your precious MODs, well, tough luck, but it
could have been much worse.
You'll also have all the BBS menus and such on your own computer so you can
work on things, like testing new menus, without having to take the actual
board down. One of them, preferably your own computer, should be your
"Master BBS", and the other the duplicate. And you always, repeat, always
edit menus and such on the master board, then copy them over via the parnet
system, so you don't get confused.
If you don't know what the parnet system is, it's a modified parallel port
cable that connects your two Amigas together, absolutely terrific. The
accompanying program is PD and available everywhere. You use a parallel port
switching box (available at Fry's, etc) so you can still use your printer.
As far as what type of Amiga to use, you can use anything you want, as long
as the software will run. The OS and chip speed of the machine don't have
anything to do with the users' transfer rate and menu display speed, that's a
limitation of the modems involved. If you're going to have more than one
phone line, though, that's a different story, and you'll either want a
machine with an 020 or 030, or else pick up an external dual serial box,
which will have a built-in coprocessor to account for the extra drag on the
system. And, of course, once you start getting into the big baud figures,
anything over 19.2, you'll have to start thinking acceleration.
I'm not making any software endorsements here. Personally, I'm not real
big on this new wave of "powerful" BBS programs making the rounds, like DLG
and StarNet. I really could care less if I see the New Files chronologi-
cally, alphabetically, numerically, or depending upon whether or not my
moon's in Virgo, I just wanna see the new files, dammit! And I want to just
hit ONE key to see them, as referred to THREE, hurumph. "Global", indeed.
Like I'd ever want to see JUST the new screen-blankers, etc.
I also hate having to go to one specific area just to download a file from
that area. Call me spoiled, but my ancient, creaky old BBS-PC would allow
you to download any file from any area of the board, which is obviously the
way it should be. Like DU's and term progs, there's no perfect BBS program,
so you appreciate the good aspects of the software and try to overlook the
bad.
And, uh, hope your members do the same. :)
As far as public domain BBS software goes, I've long had reservations about
the subject and didn't even allow them on my board for the first year or so.
But, like DU's and term programs, PD BBS programs have come a long way, so I
suppose that many of them today are acceptable. Since I'm using one, they'd
BETTER be! :) The trick, though, is to find a good one. If you're willing
to go the PD route, then you can try out a bunch of them and decide which one
you like the best. A commercial program is more of a commitment, of course,
but it's also going to be a slicker package, with more options. I'm using
MAXsBBS (with the DFB file base replacement), an outstanding piece of work.
Speaking of options, that's something that could narrow the field
considerably. If you need to have "doors" for online games, or fidonet
support, or an internet hookup, or a multi-chat mode, or a message base
spell-checker, or God-Knows-what-else, you'll have to shop around. If you
just want straight files and messages, you can use about anything.
You don't need many files on the board to start out with, but don't be
surprised if no one takes you seriously and doesn't bother calling back for
six months or so. I'd say a couple hundred files at the very least, the more
the merrier. When they first log on and hit List All Files, you want them to
think you're serious about all this. If you start out with essentially
nothing, the board will eventually grow, but it'll take a lot longer.
You'll not only want your files and message areas ready to go, you'll need
to have a number of support files ready. These will include help files for
using your board, other BBS numbers, local user group information, and maybe
the names of some "local" (ha-ha) Amiga outlets. Feel free to steal whatever
you want from my board.
Speaking of which, don't hesitate to "raid" other boards in preparation to
setting up yours. Personally, I like it when people do that with my board,
and let me know with a message so I can suggest files for them. But some
SysOps might take offense so you'll have to play that one by ear. Just don't
be greedy about it and no one should mind.
*
Okay, let's see: You've got files, messages, board support files...you're
ready to go! You've got two or three phony board names that you've locally
called and called and called the board with, testing out the message base,
both PD and private, and everything looks solid. You ring up your buddy and
say "Ready for the first official test call??". The modem's lights are
glowing, the BBS software is up...he dials!
Nothing happens.
You figure something got screwed up with all the testing, so you reboot the
rascal. You turn on the modem, the lights glow steadily in the evening's
air, you fire up the BBS again...he dials!
Nothing happens.
Welcome to SysOp's Nightmare #1: Modem Doesn't Work Right
Solution: Sweat breaking on your brow, you feverishly dig up the modem's
manual and start praying to your personal computer gods. You try an endless
variety of init string combinations and, hours later, your friend finally
connects.
Whew! Okay, the board looks good from his end, he downloads and uploads a
few files, everything looks cool. You spend the rest of the night calling
every board around, letting everybody know you're on the air! You sit
eagerly by the computer, waiting for all your new buddies to call!
Nothing happens.
Days pass. A few people log on, one or two don't even get that far after
they realize it's Amiga-only. The few that actually go through the long,
boring registration process probably won't call back for a week. Still, you
sit eagerly by, just knowing that at any second the calls are going to come
flooding in!
Nothing happens.
Welcome to SysOp's Nightmare #2: Members
Solution: Try your best to forget about it. Do other things. Catch up on
your stamp collection, clean and oil your bike. Fritter about. Be nervous,
develop a tic in your eye, constantly be listening in the background for that
sweet sound the modem makes, even though you're miles from home. Eventually,
one day, way, way on down the road, that one glorious thing will happen and
you can finally relax: you'll get THREE callers right in a row. Then you'll
know you're truly on the air. What's that? You, yourself, want to use your
own board, to answer some personal mail? Hey, get in line, buddy!
Whew! Okay, so the board's on its way. Your members are running around
like 2nd-graders at a fire drill. Some make the easiest task a backbreaking
chore, some will blatantly misuse some function even though the directions
are (to you) extremely clear, and some will look like they're completely
lost. But if you break in to ask if you can help, they'll say they were just
"exploring", and then they'll get nervous that you were watching them and
never call back again. One person will attempt to download the same file
three times, aborting each time. Then the fourth time he'll download the
whole thing just like normal. Hello? Someone else calls up, checks out the
new files, sets up the computer to download a small file, and that's the last
you see of him. Ten endless, agonizing, confusing minutes later, the board
automatically logs him off, and you're left wondering if he had a heart
attack, the neighbor's house was on fire, his sexy girlfriend just walked in,
he plain forgot, he just didn't give a shit, or WHAT! They do so many crazy
things you eventually give up ever trying to figure out why.
Okay, you started off with a healthy number of files, but that's not enough
for you, oh no! You scrounge the other boards for really cool files, you
spend endless hours with the paint kit, audio editor and even AmigaVision
to put together some really special original board files! Your members will
be thrilled! You log your really cool files on and wait for your members to
download them like crazy!
Nothing happens.
The days roll endlessly by, the members download a MOD or two, maybe a few
utilities, but hardly anyone pays any attention to your terrific creations,
even though you immodestly mention them by name in the message base. Un-
daunted, you again scrounge the other boards for really cool files, you again
put endless, countless hours into making your own personal creations, you
again log them all onto the board, eagerly awaiting all the praise that's
sure to follow!
Nothing happens.
Welcome to SysOp's Nightmare #3: Nobody Cares
Solution: Grit your teeth, fight through the pain, keep at it. You just
forgot for a moment that the "idea" of the board isn't that people immedia-
tely download the cool new files...it's that they be there when they *want*
to download them. Then they'll think the whole board is cool, not just the
individual file, if you see what I mean.
The perfect scenario is someone is out there putting together a spectacular
multimedia project, and suddenly needs, say, a picture of Barney, an explo-
sion sound, and a scream. They call you up, do a little searching, got 'em!
Absolutely nothing pleases me more than to see just that situation, where
someone calls up looking for something obviously very specific, and finds it.
Poor Barney! <sigh>
You also have to remember that the joy of putting together a neat project
is in the making of it; any praise that follows is just icing on the cake.
This is known as "artistry". If people download and like it, cool. If they
don't, well, eventually somebody will, and they'll appreciate it when the
time comes. No artist or author should ask more than that.
Whew! Okay, somebody finally downloads one of your terrific creations and
praises it publicly in the message base, so you're over that trauma. The
weeks roll by, suddenly a few of the members catch "upload fever", and up
come some pretty exciting files! Anims! Pics! MODs! Wow, you're having a
great time sorting through everything, and you feel really happy you started
this BBS! You go to copy your latest terrific upload over to the hard drive!
Nothing happens.
You try again. And again! And AGAIN!
Nothing happens.
Welcome to SysOp's Nightmare #4: Hard Drive Full
Solution:
Part A, immediate relief: You delete that huge 6-meg Euro thingy you were
so proud of, and make a promise to yourself that "the ol' girl will be back
someday!" These weak, hollow promises help to sustain you in your hour of
need.
Part B, short-term relief: Wait 'til someone is leaving a message selling
some old computer stuff. When he gets to the line where he lists that
ancient, creaky 40-meg Seagate for $35, break in with the Chat Mode scream-
ing "SOLD!!" Head directly to his house, pick up the drive, stop by the
'lectronic store if you need a daisy-chain SCSI cable, head home. Hook up
the drive, you're back in business for a few more weeks.
Part C, long-term relief: There IS no such thing as "long-term relief"
when it comes to BBSs and hard drives. Please see "Part D", below.
Part D, interim long-term relief: Check all around and buy the cheapest
1-gig drive you can find. All other advice is worthless.
P.S. Don't throw away those daisy-chain cables!
Whew! Okay, so you wrangled a 250-megger from a grateful member who gave
it to you for a good price (going toward a Noble Cause and all that..), so
you're off and running. You get all caught up on the files and your board
is wonderful! You go to sleep that night feeling morally content and spirit-
ually fulfilled.
Little do you know that at 1:21 AM, the thing that will haunt you most over
the next year is logging on for the very first time.
At that moment, in your dreams, you find yourself trapped in a house filled
with screaming 4-year-olds. Your mind slowly turns to warm goo from all the
noise. Suddenly, you see a door! You anxiously turn the handle!
Nothing happens.
You turn it again. And again!
And again and again and again and again and again and again and again and
again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again
and again (hey, this is a dream, remember?) and again and again and again!
Nothing happens.
Welcome to SysOp's Nightmare #5: The Whiny, Nagging Member
Solution: Courage and subterfuge. Try to placate him as well as you can,
promise him nothing or he'll remember it for time eternal. Forward his
messages to people you don't particularly like, confusing both parties. If
the message has a little "(F)" or something to indicate it's been forwarded,
file-zap it out for that extra tang of realism.
He'll constantly be ringing the Page SysOp bell, but don't totally ignore
it or he'll (1) hit it even more, and (2) leave a long, endless, boring
message about all the things that need to be changed on the board and why,
thereby taking up even more of the board's precious time than if you'd just
answered the damn page in the first place. And board time is, I remind you,
one of your primary responsibilities. So, answering his page, letting the
whiny, nagging member get whatever it is THIS week off his chest, then
brushing him off as quickly as you can becomes more than a "SysOp's Duty", it
borders upon being an "art form". A challenge for you to master.
But master it, you will.
Whew! The good news is, you don't know he's going to turn into SysOp's
Nightmare #5 until later, so for now things are just rosy. You wake up, grab
some breakfast, then sit down at the computer to answer your morning mail.
This takes anywhere from five minutes to an hour, then you check for any
Guests that might have signed on during the night. You note that "Barf
Breath" has logged on, and you dutifully make him a member, reminding your-
self all the while `not to judge a book by its cover'. You leave a cheery
"Hi!" message for him (a fatal mistake: it identifies you as somebody he can
"talk to"), then you check for any new uploads. You see that crazy MOD guy
has been at it again, there's also some CLI utility, an anim, this week's
edition of SysInfo, and a "CHECK OUT THIS TERRIFIC GAME!!!" file description.
That might be interesting, but it'll have to wait until you've got some time.
Right now, you're almost late for work, so off you go!
*
That's something that, while obvious, must be mentioned: the time it takes
to be a SysOp. If you're working eight hours a day, plus commute time, plus
whatever else, like family, you may just honestly not have enough hours in
the day for what it takes. But there's another philosophy to all this, and
it, too, must be mentioned: A board CAN be virtually maintenance-free. The
members upload files directly to the board, and you don't mess around much
with the messages. I dare say most BBS's are this way. But it's not my
intent to preach ineptitude here, so if that's all you want out of a BBS, I
wash my hands of the entire situation. I preach that you must really make
your board special, that you must really make a difference.
I preach that it must really be you.
*
Okay, so, lucky you, you only have to work until one, so you arrive home,
grab a bite to eat, and head for the computer. One of the smartest things
you did in setting all this up was to take that nice Mr. BenchMaster's advice
and build yourself a real computer bench, with the BBS sticking out of the
right-hand side, just like his. You're typing on your own computer, you want
to do something on the BBS, you lift your hands from the keyboard, swivel the
chair 90 degrees to the right, set your hands back down. Very slick, very
snazzy. Oh, did I say "computer bench"? Sorry, a little behind the times,
there. I meant "work station". ;)
You dial into the BBS and see that there have been ten messages left in
the system since this morning, but no uploads. You curse the worthless,
selfish members for not uploading anything in your absence, then check out
the mail. There are three public messages to you from Barf Breath. The
first complains that he "can't find anything good", from which you assume he
means raw, crude pornography, the second that he tried to download a file but
the download rate "LEFT A LOT TO BE DESIRED!!", which is the fault of your
ancient, creaky-but-beloved software, and the last complains about how few
ported games you have from the C64. Having quickly learned that the worst
way to string out a pointless message thread is to actually answer it in the
first place, you ignore all three messages. You know that won't stop him,
but it might set him back a pace. You figure if you're lucky, he'll only
remember two of his three complaints.
Another of your messages has to do with a certain Euro demo on the board
that one of your members can't get to run on either his fancy A1200 or A4000.
You curse his rich, lazy ass and make a note of the demo and continue on.
Two other messages are just silly stuff and another is from some grateful
member saying Thank You for yet another outstanding job you did of sleuthing
out some problem he had. You are just SO good! ;>
After you log off, you copy the wayward Euro thingy over to your computer
via the parnet system. It's a DMS file, about 600k. You un-dms it to a
floppy and DMS tells you it has a custom boot block, which means it's floppy-
or-bust. You reboot the computer, it scratches around on the floppy for a
few seconds and things are looking good!
Nothing happens.
You pop in your PAL-boot disk, run it, then try the demo again!
Nothing happens.
Welcome to SysOp's Nightmare #6: File Won't Run
Solution: In this case? Since you were in 2.0, you next tried it under
1.3. That didn't work, so, clever you, you tried it under 1.3 AND PAL, which
proved to be the answer. You dutifully write up a small ReadMe file, men-
tioning that the hack is 1.3/PAL-only, and stuff it into the archive. You
then hop back onto the board to gloat to the A1200/A4000 owner that you (1)
solved the puzzle, and (2) are really sorry he can't see this spectacular
demo on one of his "non-adaptable" machines, really a shame.
You don't have any obligation to test the file for any one member, but
you DO have an obligation to the archives. If a program needs some special
lib or dev to run, or only runs under one OS or screen mode, you want that
noted in the file. Mainly, so you won't have to go through this same thing
again with the same dumb demo NEXT year! :)
In other scenarios, well, if something won't run, you're on your own, bud.
A text on troubleshooting exceeds the scope of this document. Suffice to say
that you'd better have 1.3 and 2.x on hand, as well as PAL, Degrader, and a
few good file identifiers. If you've got an 020 or 030, it may require a
68000. If it's old it may require 1.2 or 1.3, and if it's new it may be
AGA-only. But you'll figure out most of them. Whether or not you put things
on the board that you can't get to run is an ethical question only you can
answer. Me, I don't, unless I know it's something I don't have, like AGA, an
040 processor, 24-bit graphics card, etc.
Whew! So you got the demo to run and you're feeling pretty frisky. Time
for some fresh uploads! You flip on the BUSY switch and copy over all the
new uploads via the parnet system.
Oh, about the BUSY switch: Sparing no expense like usual, you spent a
whopping five dollars at Radio Shack for one of their small "experimenter's
boxes" (a small empty plastic box to act as a housing for the BUSY switch and
warning light), a small "double-pole" switch (meaning, it has two "sides" to
it, so you can wire one circuit to one side and a different circuit to the
other side), and a 120v red pilot light. You dug up an old rotary phone from
a box in the garage, took the cover off and experimented with disconnecting
different wires until you found one that made for a busy signal when somebody
called, not hard to do. The old phone, itself, gets lashed to the underside
of the computer bench, out of the way. You spliced a double wire to this
wire and the screw connector, then ran the double wire up to the box, where
you installed the small switch. One side of the double-pole switch is for
the phone wire, the other side is for the light. The light is mounted inside
the box along with the switch. You ran some lamp cord down to the wall and
plugged it in, the other end powers the light when the switch is in the BUSY
position. You've GOT to have the red warning light or you'll forget and
leave your board busy for hours and hours and hours at a time, promise.
(I also promise that's the last time I'll ever give directions in the past
tense :)
Okay, you copy all the new MODs over to a separate dir, just to get them
out of the way, then check out the other stuff. The anim's "okay", another
one of those "rotating logo" things, ho-hum, but it's got a spot. It's
already cleaned up and in the LZX format, so you move it over to your
"Ready" dir. The "GREAT GAME...GOTTA SEE!!", of course, turns out to be a
so-so little Space Invaders-type shoot 'em up, and you figure you'll probably
CRUSH the young member who uploaded it when you put "so-so" in the file
description, heh. But that's okay..you consider it a "growing experience"
for the young lad. The file had a bunch of DISPLAY.ME's and a Zzenpad.foo
in it, nothing was properly capitalized, the source code was spread out all
over the place, it was missing the icon, the doc had three grossly misspelled
words in it and the actual game, itself, had a grossly misspelled word in it,
so you took care of all THAT, re-arc'd the file and put it in your Ready dir.
Whew! My, you ARE the professional! You then spend ten minutes listening
to the MODs, jotting down file descriptions, wondering just HOW many ways you
can say "cute little ditty". The board's free for the moment, so you copy
the files over via the parnet and log everything on. You check to see that
everything looks nice and neat, then beat it. That satisfies the hungry mob
and you get the rest of the day off!
You turn back to your own computer, planning on having a lot of fun, just
doing the things you like to do on your wonderful machine. After all, the
BBS isn't your "whole life", you've got LOTS of exciting things planned!
You settle your hands to the keyboard and prepare to enjoy your excellent
computer experience!
Nothing happens.
You frantically go to the DU, looking in miscellaneous directories, looking
for something to do. You go back to the Workbench, click on the mouse to
open your Games directory and hover the pointer above the icons...
Nothing happens.
Sweat breaks out on your brow as you try with all your might to avoid
hitting the one icon you really want to hit, the BBS icon.
Your eyes glance furtively over the selection of games, you close the
window and go back to the DU. You pop open your Temp dir, where you always
keep all kinds of neat, interesting projects in the works. You hover the
pointer above the various entries; ready, willing, able to click on any one
of them at any given second!
Nothing happens.
Welcome to SysOp's Nightmare #7: You're Addicted
Solution: None that I've been able to find.
Whew! Okay, so that wasn't too bad, you been through it before. You fire
up the BBS on your own computer and start thinking about ways to improve
things. Suddenly, you see that a certain menu would look better another way,
and you happily go off to edit it, at peace with yourself and feeling as one
with the universe. You faced the dreaded SysOp's Nightmares, and you handled
them well. You're a BBS System Operator.
*
We'll leave you happily editing menus for a few moments while I ask some
pertinent questions:
> How much daily time should the members have? This isn't as easy as it
sounds. If they get a whole hour, then you might see the entire prime time
evening hour go to all of four members. But remember, if they only get 45
minutes, then your largest file can't be over about 630k, the maximum 45-
minute download for a 2400 baud caller. You can split up huge binary files
that are over 650k with the Sploin program, but it's still an extra hassle
for both you and the downloader. Multi phone line systems don't have this
problem, of course; just give everybody a hour and t'hell with it.
> Then again, what's the lowest baud rate you're going to accept? Are you
going to accept 1200 baud callers? They take an eternity just to go from
menu to menu, much less download a file, but I've gotten some -very- nice
uploads from 1200 callers, so who's to say they're "worthless"? On the
other hand, 14.4 modems are so cheap these days that maybe anybody calling at
a lower speed really isn't "serious" about this BBS thing, and 14.4 (or 9600)
should be your cut-off line. Cruel, huh? Multiple lines is the easy answer
for this one.
> Then there's this upload/download ratio deal. Gonna use it? If you do,
you gonna blame the members when they start uploading four-year-old Fred Fish
files just to satisfy the ratio? But if you don't have a ratio, you'll look
up one day and see that some caller has downloaded something like 859 files
and uploaded exactly zero. You gonna call him a "leech" on a board with no
ratio? Make your decision, then be ready for the extremes. Personally, I
think an up/down ratio is a REALLY dumb idea. You sure don't get as many
uploads, but you know the ones you get are heartfelt.
> Will you allow the members to enter the (final) file descriptions? Be
prepared for a lot of "GREAT GAME...GOTTA SEE!!" stuff if you do. And it's
no secret that half your members can't spell worth a shit. Are you going to
allow the overall quality of the board to degrade because of some lame
spelling? Especially after you worked so hard to make sure the menus and
support files were so perfect? What if the members think it's YOU that's
writing the lame file descriptions? :)
> Are you going to allow new uploads to be immediately accessed by the next
caller, or are you going to preview or test each file first? That takes up a
BIG portion of your maintenance time, obviously, and most SysOps don't do it.
Thus, there's a lot of real junk out there and a lot of (possibly expensive)
download time wasted. If you let the members enter the files onto the board
directly, then you're going to have viruses and pornography to worry about,
to mention two potential headaches:
- The porno is a twofold problem. First, there's the Feds. And if little
Johnny, age 14, downloads some porno animation, and his mom walks in just as
he's viewing it (with audio, of course), and she calls the cops, well, she's
right; you distributed pornography to a minor, you broke the law. Heaven
help you if he was calling from out of state! ;)
The second part of the problem is ethical: The law aside, how would you
feel if you saw some dirty old man giving some filthy porno to your 14 year
old sister? The law protects 'em when they're young for a reason, y'know?
You could, of course, just not allow any porno on the board, but then where's
your Freedom of Speech and all? You just going to knuckle under to these
purist pigs?!?
You could ask the members to prove their age by sending you a photocopy of
their driver's license, but then they'll just copy their older brother's
while he's asleep, so that's no good. For that matter, you may not wish to
give out your address. One option, of course, is to just put anything and
everything on the board and let the chips fall where they may. Chances are
nothing will ever happen. The Feds are mainly busting boards dealing child
pornography, not the distribution-to-minors thing. Just make sure they got a
little bush down there and you'll be okay. Also, the line between R-rated
and X-rated is pretty clear, so just putting the R-stuff on the board might
be the best compromise, that's what I do.
- And if the members are allowed to upload files directly, what about the
potential for your board spreading harmful viruses?
Hard to say, isn't it?
> How about privilege levels? Most BBS software has some kind of privi-
lege range for the members, and certain things, like a line on a menu, will
be invisible except to members with a certain rating. If you're going to use
some kind of privilege range, you'd better map things out before you start.
You won't have that many. You'll have Guests (people who have registered),
and normal members. If you have an Adult section, then you'll have a range
for that, and maybe an "elite" group of close buddies who have access to
stuff the others don't. Spread the groups out over your software's whole
privilege range to leave room to grow.
> Gonna have a Co-SysOp? How much access is he going to have? How many
phone lines will the system have? If he's not there at your house, he's
going to be burning up some serious board time downloading the latest uploads
to test out. How much power will he have when it comes to the menus, the
online helpfiles, what files go on board, etc? Everything got to clear your
desk first? Don't want to be bothered with the small stuff?
Better decide now! :)
> So, are you going to have a theme? This can either be a theme that
involves the files, like "Graphics-Only", or one that involves the general
board, like the Olde English bit. Along these lines, you have to think about
what type of person you want to attract. Are you going to allow handles?
The techie types tend to get turned off by wild handles and silly themes, so
there goes the expertise needed for a solid message base. On the other hand,
if anyone's going to complain about something silly and fun on the board,
it'll be the techies, so who needs 'em? If you keep everything straight and
boring, the techies will love it but the goofballs in the audience will be
hesitant to be themselves in the message base, and you'll miss out on a lot
of excellent spontaneous humor.
Hard to walk the line, here, you pretty much have to make the choice, then
live with it. If you go the fun route, encourage people to use handles or
aliases, that adds a lot of character to the message base. If someone logs
on with a rude or crude name, just ignore him. You don't "need" members,
there's lots of them out there. If you go the techie route, do it right,
keep the menus quick, functional and square, and put the "Goofy Stuff" area
of the message base to one side, where it won't be included with the N: New
Messages.
> Are you going to put anything and everything on the board? I'm sorry to
say it, but you'll have a lot of junk on your board if you do. It's just one
of those "eye of the beholder" things. That 17-year-old's first "master-
piece" is really just trash, but if you don't put it on the board, he may
never upload another file. And, I promise you, some of your best stuff will
come from some of the most unexpected sources. How about DMCS and Sonix
files? In this day of MODs and MEDs, they seem as outdated as Arc and Zoo
files. Going to put them on anyway? And speaking of Arc files, what about
it? You going to allow the files in any compression format, or convert them
all to LZX?
Better decide n-o-w! :)
> Ah, and then there's commercial software. Very sticky situation, this.
I actually had one person suggest I not mention it at all, but The Bench-
Master's faithful disciples know he always shoots straight with them, so I'm
going to broach the subject. It would simply be unrealistic, otherwise.
To begin with, is it okay to make private deals with members to obtain such
"SysOp Tools" as ADPro, DeluxePaint and AudioMaster, to enhance your present
files, as well as create new ones? Don't forget a good commercial text
editor like CygnusEd, to encourage you to be prolific and write lots of
helpful ReadMeToo files. Oh, and certainly the latest registered version of
LZX, to compress your board's files that much better. A large directory
utility like OPUS, SID-PRO or DiskMaster becomes a major testing lab and is
vitally important. What if you're running under 1.3 and need a 2.0 kickfile
to test the 2.0 files? What about 3.0? Is it "okay" to swap for these
things, if you can't afford them? If you consider it unethical, and the
board suffers as a consequence, which it assuredly will, will you be able to
objectively weigh the good done versus the bad?
An example: There are a lot of GIF and JPEG pics around, but you and most
of your members don't have AGA machines, so they need to be converted to HAM.
The trouble is, you don't happen to have $150 lying around to buy ADPro, the
correct program for the task. You're chatting with a member one day, lament-
ing your fate, and he offers to give you a copy of his old, outdated version.
Viewing this as nothing more than stealing, you gracefully decline the offer.
You're on the Internet that night and discover a wonderful new source of
terrific GIF pics, lots of space pics, your favorite! You just can't stop
yourself, so you download a bunch, then grab the PD pic converter <fill in
blank> and convert them all over to HAM. The quality's not "great", but it
sure beats the heck out of nothing! You then spend the next number of months
downloading GIF pics and converting them with <fill in blank>.
Your members, not knowing any better, download your pics like crazy, and
redistribute these C-quality conversions all over the place, thus slightly
lowering the overall quality of public domain Amiga files. Or, to put it a
slightly harsher way: Congratulations, meathead, you just peed in the pond.
And how does the damage get undone? If I convert the same GIF pic with
ADPro, and it's just stunning, but I see that my local BBS already has the
HAM pic, why bother uploading my version? I'm certainly not going to bother
checking file sizes, I'm going to ASSUME that whoever converted the GIF pic
in the first place had the good sense to either do it right, or not do it at
all. We're talking potentially thousands people suffering and an overall
loss of quality, and all because of "principles".
Well, what else is new.
And then there's old commercial files, ones you couldn't buy if you tried.
TAD, the original ADPro, is long off the market, so what harm is done in
using a copy, if you just plain ol' don't have the money to buy it, even if
you could? It doesn't have quite the conversion power that ADPro does, but
it still beats the hell out of anything PD.
So you are more than welcome to stand on priciple and decline to make any
such deals, but let me put it one more way: What if someone wants to donate
the software? Do you say "No" to someone who wants to donate a hard drive to
your board, figuring that you'd only be "stealing" from the manufacturer?
So, ethically, what's the dif?
And apart from "SysOp Tools", you'll run into other commercial files here
and there. What if some member uploads a commercial game he needs help with?
What's wrong with your helping him, then throwing away your copy? How about
keeping a copy for your time and trouble? What if you allow the members to
upload directly to the board, and an innocent member doesn't know this, and
uploads the commercial game he needs help with directly to the board?! And
it's a real popular and expensive game, and you just left on vacation for a
week, and the company has this REAL BIG legal department? :)
Anyway, I personally believe that the "bad" done by my not buying a product
is FAR outweighed by the good that I do with it, since they're talking
about one individual sale, and I'm talking about improving the entire Amiga
spectrum as a SysOp. If they had any sense, the people who make ADPro would
GIVE me a copy, under the condition I include a small ReadMe file that says
"This excellent HAM image was rendered by Art Dept Pro". Make sense?
> What are you going to do when you get a real asshole on the board? Some-
one who says snide things about you in the message base, actually criticizes
your board in other message bases, but never does anything overtly destruc-
tive or worthy of getting his sweet ass kicked right off? Gonna kick him off
anyways? Limit his access, maybe from part or all of the message base? Have
him REALLY say some bad shit about you on other boards? You gonna be a wimp
and do nothing at all, let him boss you around on your OWN board?? Ya gonna
get tough, or turn the other cheek? Maybe sweet talk him to death? Granted,
you have to handle each case individually, just be aware of your options and
think through each move. Personally, I might start with deleting every
message he leaves, good or bad. When he complains about it, assuming he even
notices, feed him some cheap, paltry excuse like, "Sorry, the system's been
kind of glitchy lately". Never let on that you're upset with him. Bore and
ignore him into submission. He'll find likelier game elsewhere.
> And on the same subject, are you going to weaken and give in to the Vocal
Minority when they start clamoring about something? You gonna be democratic
about it and let everyone vote on the issue? What if the majority goes
against your own personal wishes? Gonna change things, or will you become a
"benevolent despot" and just do things your own way, vote or no vote? If it
was just a guideline, why'd you call it a "Vote"? Because "Questionnaire"
sounded like it would take too long and no one would answer it? Say, that's
some pretty fancy footwork there, fella...I think you're getting it!
> Lastly, how about backing up files? Most SysOps start out backing up
everything in sight, but as time goes by, it becomes more and more of a drag
and it doesn't get done as often as it should. The number of floppies you
eventually end up with can be a real pain, so if you can get a tape drive, do
it. That's assuming you didn't buy a second gig drive while you were at the
store, of course. When it comes to the importance of backing up files, I
can't think of any other way to put it than, the importance of backing up
your files is in direct proportion to how important the board is to you.
That sounds simple, but many truths are.
*
So, that new menu looks pretty good! While you were making it, three
people paged you and wanted to chat; one had a small problem, the other two
actually took the "Chat with SysOp" thing literally and, well, were bored
and were looking for somebody to chat with. You also got distracted
"testing" a new game, heh, and you suddenly remembered a mistake in a
helpfile that you had to change immediately. You got sidetracked while
editing the file, re-edited a bunch of it all over again, then started a new
file from an idea you had while editing the first one. So it only took you
three hours to edit the menu! That's pretty good..it usually takes me four!
As you were making the menu, you suddenly had this little glimmering of an
idea way in the back of your mind. You were thinking of a practical joke you
heard about that morning, and how it would be fun to do some joke stuff on
your board, and you thought of how, y'know, you *could* compile menus while
the members were actually online. Which means you could have, like, some
small goofy thing on your Main Menu, then when they go to the message base or
the files, you could recompile the Main Menu without the goofy thing, or make
it something else, or...or...you suddenly realize that you could play some
REAL head games with these people! You're going to have to be careful! :)
If you're on my board, go to The BenchMaster's Box and read "Max Was Bad"
for a quick demonstration of what you can do. I remember the day I put the
bell sound on my Files Menu for some reason, just screwin' around, and Robbie
called up, went to Files, noticed the bell, hit the ? a bunch of times to
redisplay the menu and make the bell ring, then paged me and asked me what
that crazy bell was all about! Naturally, I replied "What bell?", and as he
was typing "That crazy bell that rings every time I access the files menu!",
I quickly went to the Workbench screen, recompiled the menu without the bell,
then answered him with something like "Well, I don't know what you're talking
about..sounds liked you've lost it, buddy!". Naturally, the bell wasn't
there after we got out of Chat mode. Yes, it's Secret Fun With Menus!
So now you're really jazzed, and you stay up til 2:30 in the morning
working on some fiendishly clever menus for unwary members, and you wake up
late and lose your job. And while you're openly lamenting your loss of
employment to all around you, secretly you're absolutely THRILLED that now
you've finally got the time to get SERIOUS about this dang BBS of yours!
Another fun idea is the text adventure game. You could get pretty
elaborate, up to and including making maps or charts for the players to
download. "W" on a menu would display a textfile telling you what you're
seeing to the West, "E" to the East, "N" would take you through a door (to
another menu), that kind of thing. I like the maze idea, where everything's
basically nonsensical and the members go round and round, gasping and groping
for a way out. Absolutely hysterical to watch as they run out of board
time and the BBS is telling them they've got "2 minutes remaining", then "1
minute remaining", then... BLINK! As the last electron pulses down the
phone wire, if you listen real carefully, you can actually hear the member's
last anguished scream of agony fading away in the distance. Quite stirring.
Ah, don't forget tests! You can make up fun tests, with a big BZZZT!!
textfile displayed when they get one wrong, maybe ring the bell when they get
one right, whatever. The tests can be silly or serious. You can also have
Votes, like I do periodically, as well as a Questionnaire, where they can
answer questions in written form rather than multiple choice. If you have
access to professionals in non-computer fields, you can serve as an informa-
tion exchange, like I do with my Ask The Professional section. And while on
the subject of all this fun stuff, don't be crushed if you throw your heart
and soul into some neat new board function and Nobody Cares. SysOp's Night-
mare #3, remember? A lot of people tend to view a BBS as nothing more than
messages and files, but obviously the potential for a truly entertaining BBS
is there. They just have to be led by the nose, heh.
My "Special Functions" are a good example. They're a bunch of silly board
routines that I made up, but they're fun to do. A maze game, that kind of
stuff. When I first fired up the board, I was so afraid that everyone would
immediately "use them up", that one of the "rules" for using them was "No
talking about them in the message base". A few members really caught on to
them and did them all, but most didn't even notice them. I eventually ended
up not only making a huge special section for them with a big fancy menu, but
put "E: ENTERTAINMENT" on the Main Menu to get peoples' attention! Yes,
even if they have to be taken kicking and screaming, these people are going
to have FUN on my board, dammit! :)
When it gets down to the Bottom Line, one thing that has to be kept in mind
is that if the whole BBS is a disaster, for whatever reason, you're not
really out a lot. You'll still have a whole, complete computer to sell, if
you want, which is much nicer to sell than a bunch of pieces, and you might
very well want to swap a few things with your own system before selling it.
Like that, uh, gig drive, heh.
Speaking of which, the most common reason for a board to go down is hard-
ware failure. Power supplies are no big deal, you can pick up a $35 special
at used/cheap electronic supply houses that'll power four SCSI drives just
fine. And even if you melt the computer, you can pick up an old A2000 for
next to nothing. It's mainly the drive(s) that are important, not only
because of the cost, but the (ahem) information on them. The good news is,
you might hear how hard BBS's are on hard drives, but this is quite untrue,
just the opposite, in fact. First, the files only get written to the drive
once, so there's virtually no fragmenting, and two, the absolutely best thing
you can do for a hard drive is never shut it off, so a hard drive that's on
24 hours a day is most likely going to last a lot longer than one that's shut
off daily. I've lost a number of hard drives over the years, and they've
NEVER quit or gone bad while they were running, it was always when they were
first powered up that they either (1) did nothing, or (2) weren't a DOS disk
anymore, nor were they ever going to be again. The jury may still be out on
whether or not it's better to leave a computer or monitor on all the time,
but I don't think there's any doubt when it comes to hard drives.
If it's at all possible, I would recommend you run the actual BBS & Work-
bench from another hard drive, a small 40-megger would do just fine. Let it
wear out from a zillion message and file searches, save the big boy.
Speaking of wearing out the drive(s), I'm now running my message and files
data files from SD0, (StatRam) the recoverable virtual Ram device. It's
quite stable, will survive almost any Guru, and the Searches in the message
and files areas are MUCH MUCH quicker than reading it off the disk.
Update Note: I'm now using this excellent "Dynamic File Base", a file base
replacement for MAXsBBS (allows more file sections, etc). Being "dynamic",
the data file is real compact and reads real fast, so I'm not keeping it in
virtual mem any more. As stable as SD0 is, there's no sense in taking any
unnecessary chances. Make your own tests and decide.
If your board just becomes too big a headache, like with all the time and
energy (much of it emotional) it takes, just shut it down and tell everybody
your drive blew up, they'll understand. Leave a few messages around town.
The thing that will (why doesn't this surprise me) cause the most frustra-
tion and anxiety for you will be your interaction with other people in the
message base. What you have to do is learn how to pull back from certain
situations, not retort to some message although you're dying to, that kind of
thing. If someone leaves a nasty message, just delete it. You don't have
any "moral obligation" to leave all the messages intact. Nor are you
accepting any money from these people, so no "contract" is involved, implied
or otherwise. If you see trouble brewing, nip it in the bud if you want.
The person who left the nasty message in the first place most likely will
never even know it was deleted, and if by odd chance he does, and screams
"YOU DELETED MY MESSAGE?!?!?????" at you, tell him "Damn straight, buddy, and
if you leave another one like that, I'll do it again". There's no exclama-
tion mark at the end of your message; you're not about to get into a heated
debate with him, you're just telling it like it is.
Let me continue, because this is a good example. At this point, he'll
probably leave this long, heated private dissertation on "free speech" and
all that, and this is EXACTLY the time you need to pull back and not say one
single word in reply. Also, in this exact case, I wouldn't delete his message.
Leave it dangling in the air for eternity. If you're talking about something
else in the public message base, answer him in your usual cheery, happy
style. But getting into this behind-the-scenes philosophical debate routine
is a REAL time-burner, and ultimately goes nowhere. In this case, since this
is your BBS, his "free speech" argument is completely baseless, so tell him
so. It's your board, you have certain powers, you get to use them. That's
the bottom line, every time.
Speaking of bottom lines, how about costs? Not much, once you buy the rig.
I crack up at all these SysOps asking for donations for "operating costs".
What a scam. My opinion is, if you want to be the big, prestigious owner of
a big, prestigious bulletin board, you can just go out and buy one. Asking
your members to help pay for it is ludicrous. And month-to-month, all you
have is your VERY basic phone charge, you're not making any outgoing calls on
this line. You ask the phone company for "zero message units", so that you
almost CAN'T call out (you can, but local calls will cost a tiny bit), and
it's about thirteen bucks a month, wow. That's about a penny an hour for
some of the most terrific entertainment going, for those of you scoring at
home.
I won't dignify the above by even mentioning the little amount of electri-
city the BBS uses. If you're thinking along these lines, you definitely
don't have what it takes, let's be clear on that. BBS's will cost you money,
period. Members may contribute things along the way, as many of mine have,
but you'll still spend some reasonable bucks here and there. Personally, I
like spending money on big, solid material things I can see right in front of
me. :D
Getting the word out: When I started, I actually had business cards
printed with the board's name on them, picked up a handful of cheap plastic
business card holders, and sent them out to various Amiga dealers in the
area. Cool, huh? Sending the stores a flyer for their (real) bulletin board
is a good idea, as well as putting the board's name and number in the local
computer newspapers. If it costs a few bucks, well, what the hell, do it
twice a year.
You'll also leave messages on other boards, as well as leaving a personal
message for the SysOp, asking him to put your number on his "Local BBSs"
list. If he doesn't have one, write him up one and upload it. Leave a
public message to him describing the upload so he'll feel obligated to
display it on the board somewhere. :) You can also put together a board
ad, maybe with a sexy pic or something, and upload it far and wide as a
regular file. Don't, however, post lists of your files on other boards,
that's tacky.
Definitely seek out members individually. When you see a message from
someone you think would be a good addition to your board, don't hesitate to
leave him a private invitation. The same is true for uploaders. If some-
one's uploading a ton of your favorite type of file, you want that guy!
*
So, your board is up and running and things are looking good! Yep, you've
got those nasty ol' problems behind you, and it looks like clear sailing
ahead! Your members are a great bunch of guys, and you're so glad you
started this BBS! The glamour and prestige that go along with it, the way
the new users look at you with stars in their eyes, the way it's just SO cool
to be on the "inside". And it's just TERRIFIC seeing all these new files
before anybody else! You look around and say, "It just doesn't get any
better than this!"
A happy moment passes.
Suddenly, somebody calls up and your modem makes kind of a funny noise.
He's using one of those newer, faster modems you heard about! The modems
become quiet as the BBS tries to connect.
Nothing happens.
*
You're REAL tired of listening to people complaining about how the line's
always busy. You finally decide to blow the bucks and have a second phone
line put in. There, THAT should satisfy everybody! You hook everything up
and eagerly await all those callers on your new line!
Nothing happens.
*
You're REAL tired of complaints about the slow old software you're using,
even though you love it and it works "okay". So after eyeballing that snazzy
new commercial package for months now, you finally decide to take the plunge!
You spend all your money, buy the software, take it home, tear open the box
and fire it up!
Nothing happens.
The user with the newer, faster modem couldn't connect because either your
modem or software couldn't handle it, probably both. The users calling in
on the second line couldn't get through because your BBS software is only
designed to handle one line and/or your computer only has one serial port.
Your brand new BBS software won't run because it's written for the new OS
and your BBS computer is operating under the old.
Welcome to SysOp's Nightmare #8: Time Has Passed You By
Solution: Buy a newer, faster modem. Buy a new computer with two serial
ports and the new OS. Flush thousands of your happy menu-making hours down
the toilet by buying new BBS software so it'll handle the newer, faster
modem, the second serial port, and the new OS.
In other words, start all over.
Please refer to SysOp's Nightmares #1-7, above, for further details.
:)
THE BENCH//\/\\ASTER
Amiga-only BBS:
(408) 238-5885
benchie@cup.portal.com
*
*
Why I do it:
There are some real whips on my board. Real smarties, real fast on the
draw. They're a blast to chat with, real quick typists, very witty and fun.
But somewhere out there is that big, ugly, pimply kid. Oily hair, big
inch-thick Coke-bottle glasses, you know the type. Hunched over his new
Amiga, squinting at the monitor, typing real slow with his pudgy fingers...
...and he's typing to me.
And he's asking me some real dumb beginner-type questions, and any other
SysOp on the planet would just brush him off, but I hang in there, and
dutifully answer his questions, and make suggestions for other things to
read, programs to check out...
And I do this, because I know something.
I know that, in ten years, all those whips on my board are going to be
managing a McDonalds or crunching numbers for some nameless firm.
And this is the kid who'll invent the cure for cancer.
And he's going to be sitting there at his press conference, and someone
will ask him how he got started, and he'll say..
"Well, y'know, it was really tough there for a while, and I almost gave up
a number of times. But there was this one guy..."
And I want to be that one guy.